April Fools' Day stories round-up
It should be a real hoot working for the Royal Mail
The Guardian have announced a major breakthrough in technology with the development of special reading glasses that automatically block out articles from the Daily Mail.
Launching its ‘augmented reality’ specs, the paper claimed they "feature optional built-in anti-bigotry technology, which prevents exposure to non-Guardian opinions by blacking out columns by Melanie Phillips or Richard Littlejohn, among other writers, as soon as the user attempts to look at them."
The newspaper also claimed the glasses – nicknamed Guardian Goggles – would "beam its journalism directly into the wearer's visual field, enabling users to see the world through the Guardian's eyes at all times".
Indeed, the only thing the article didn’t mention was that the spectacles would only be available until noon on 1 April.
The Daily Mail's own dubious story of the day concerned owls being drafted in by the Royal Mail to deliver internal post because of budget cuts, while according to the Mirror, Virgin aeroplanes are to be fitted with glass floors so passengers can have "uninterrupted views of the Earth" as they fly above it
It was clearly a slow news day on the Daily Telegraph, which scored an improbable hat-trick with tales of 'light tsars' to conserve energy use, David Cameron rescuing a sheep from a swamp and a new musical called 'The Coalition' which detailed the 'love story gone wrong' between Cameron and Nick Clegg.
Elsewhere, You Tube announced it was closing down forever, Twitter launched Twtr, a pared-down service banning vowels, and BBC Radio 4'sToday programme claimed locomotives were to be fitted with barcodes to make things easier for trainspotters, prompting music mogul Pete Waterman to sniff:"It’s not the same thing. It’s like email – you can’t beat meeting people."
And finally, over in the world of football TalkSport revealed Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich had decided to appoint himself as the new manager at Stamford Bridge. Trouble is, no-one can work out whether it's an April Fool or not.